thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
