I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
