how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
