if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
