Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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