I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My dick has a subreddit
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
