Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
