well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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