You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
