Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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