Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
