Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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