I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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