His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
