By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
