OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
