I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
