If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
