come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
