Sponge bath it is.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
