It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
God, I missed his penis.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
