hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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