I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
