Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
