imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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