When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just high enough for therapy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
