if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
