Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
