I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
