Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
