if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
