He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize