Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
