Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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