Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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