In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
