I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
