I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
