Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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