Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
