she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
