3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
