I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
