grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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