The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
