She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
