somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
