Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
