She said her name was "party"
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you never un-have a 4some
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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