All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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