i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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