What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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