By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
