Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
