It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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