My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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