Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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