we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
