When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize