Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
