i will never coherently bang her
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
