Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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