I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You've changed since you got that strap on
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
