i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
